Happy Pills

Thanks JiaMin :) , I love you !!

Its like a daily routine . Sitting down at my chair , thinking , figuring , crying and praying . It was not long ago , when something i thought would not happen again , happened .I was Careful this time . But i don't know why it happened again . I mean things ain't over . Are they ? I myself don't really know . But all i know is that my feelings have yet to change . I believe God placed me in your life all of a sudden for a purpose , But for whatever purpose i will fulfill it .

I don't get it , i was really careful this time . Wasn't I ?

I didn't rush things , did I ? One thing i've learned from all these , is that I'm a package of complex equations and whoever wants to take the challenge becomes confused . Maybe God placed this U.S trip for another Purpose , to give us sometime to think this through . Really think it through . Well God wants best for me right ? But i ain't asking much ... She was simple , organized , God-Fearing , lovable , Easy-going , hard-working , Priorities are Set in placed .

But i wonder where do i fit in ?? :/ Will you will make time for me like you said ? or has things changed ? i'm still waiting . Well what harm is there in waiting ... Not like another girl is going to POP out of no where and steal My heart away. But what if i wait too long and i get too emotionally drawn ? and thing end up the opposite with you . Garh .. Its a big headache . its a risk .. A Big risk .

I promise one thing . I'm setting my feet down here . waiting is my Choice . Anchored to the floor , Bolted to the Floor , nailed , Stappled xD , taped , glued . Everything la . you name it :) .Smile more pls , you are always not smiling when i see you ... Its really depressing for me ..

Feeling Oldish

I've been listening to so many oldies songs . Richard Marx , Robbie Williams . Rob Steward , Elton John . Etc etc .. they are all awesome songs !! .

my holidays are all occupied . with camps , field trips , birthdays , AND US TRIP :) .

Hmm i need that break .. but i don't need a break from my friends . !!! garh...

another 3 weeks to the LAND OF THE FREE . Haha i wonder why they call it the Land of the Free.

Hmmm Eagle :) Egbert . haha Weee :)

Dare You you To Move!!!

Hey you . Lets end this . This is just madness ... It's pure stupidity . I missed you .. When you walk pass me , its like you don't even know me ? I waved at you , you ignored me completely ... Whats wrong with us ? Lets End this now .

I Dare you to move !

A good Relationship always starts with a Solid Friendship .

So what do you say ?

Sportstastic !

Crazy Crazy day .... Football was great , 3rd placing :/ out of 6 teams . Not bad :D !!

Awesome blossoms !!!

Great Job NETBALL GIRLS !!!

And i Salute those who took part in 1500meter and made it through !!!

To > Victoria , Nigel , Darrel , Weili , Zenny , Abigail . Great Job .

I gotten alot worst , physically . It is rest rest rest for me now :D No more Fooling around , needa get my head in the game !

I don't really have much to blog about .. I don't feel like posting photos up cause i'm just absolutely tired and lazy ... Scored a Goal today :) Yay !! Yippy Me . Nigel Ran to Hug me but he accidently hit my throat .

Like A unforgettable moment .

What's wrong with me .....

Why do i keep F**king up everything ?

I just don't know what to do these days ....

God what's your plans for me ?

I'm already 17 !!! holy Crappers man !!

When i find that one special thing *again* ,

I ended F**king it up again ...

I rather live in a small cave forever .

I always end up hurting the ones i love .

I'm sorryy ...

Who am I?

I'm not perfect , i sin , we all sin .

But do we really want to change ?

Although we know that certain actions are wrong .

Why then do we continue to do them ?

Even I can't answer that .

I'm trying to but i can't .

You say you will never leave nor forsake us .

Is there anything else we can ask ?

Cause that's all we need , You Lord .

I'm not perfect , I realized that i neglected many friends who were once close to me . I'm sorry . But i'll make it up . promise . I just been so caught up with Work and trying to get things right , but by doing that i neglected you guys . I love you guys !

Who Am I ?

Penguins With Big Eyes :/

A song , really cheers me up in moments like this .

Whatever It takes - Lifehouse .

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/lifehouse/whatever_it_takes.html ]
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

I mean what i say . Believe me :D

hickery Bickery Puck :D

Gosh Quinn in Glee Season 2 .. Speechless . although she returns to the B**** she was but , man you gotta notice that she is a beauty .

Quoted from Samuel Anthony " is Kate Middleton's sister still single ? " hahaha !

Btw , even i'm curious . I don't wanna know her name because if i do i will start blogging about her :P . anyway .. I think Kate Middleton will do a great Queen when Prince William take the throne .

And news that Osama Bin Laden " that Bas**** is finally dead " gosh !! hate that piece of Crap , Because of him , american's immigration suspects everyone from muslim countries as a treat to their nation .. Hmm the 911 Incident. A really sad Story . So many lifes taken .. So many heart's crushed by the lost of their lost onces ... I'm really afraid of Death .. For myself and my Friends ... But i'm learning to tell myself , whatever it is , God When you want to take me , take me .

N besides !! Live life likes it's your last day . But be realistic la :D .

I'm 17 , i'm starting to drive around ( short distances ) and soon i'll be in college . My mom says it is Alright for me to start dating , but she gives me all the pressure and all .. It is true , what if right now .. I'm emotionally drawn to someone , but what if that day comes where it ends . It's my major year man .. it will just remind me of everything of what happened last year... I'm taking this risk because i know it's worth it . But i guess i need to know my limits . and my limit ends here .... I'm starting to realize that i'm living a fantasy in my head .. a Fantasy that needs to be contained for the time being . I use to say that i will never Date anymore until college because of the incident last year . But look at me now , i'm coming out of my shell to take a risk . RISKY one tho because it's my finally year , but i guess i have to stop myself from being too emotionally drawned .. Waoo okay i'm going to stop here before i start spilling some very Private info ..

Live starting to catch up with me .. College , working , Courtship , Marriage . Gosh all seem so scary but one heck of a journey . A journey in which i'm not ready to take but yet i'm so excited to start . So confusing ... Sometimes i stare blankly into emptiness thinking bout my future . Sometimes it's futile but sometimes its productive . I try talking to God , and it helps , but the answer comes some other way .. Ways that i don't even understand . And whats with my problem of insecurity ... SERIOUSLY >.< , i feel like slapping that crap out of me . SLAPS SLAPS ! D:

To be quite honest with you , sometimes i find my life so boring .. doing the SAME OLD things over and over again .. Its very tiring !! But i guess i just have to deal with it for another year .. I'm 17 this man guys !! and so are some of youss !:D

Some are younger , and i hope i'll be able to set a good example to you guys . Cause the last thing i want you guys to say is that " but Egbert did it before " gosh .. Reputation Destruction much . but yeah through God's help i guess i can do it . So help me to by being honest with me :).

I wanna give a big thank you hug to all who have helped me. through the hard times , through the insecure times . a few is YOU "T" haha :P , ERNIE , JIAMIN , ADRIENNE , SAMUEL MY MAN , and of course you Puppet . Puppet , you know after everything , it did change me , but sometimes i do fall back to it , but hey no one is perfect .

And sometimes , I hate being around some of my friends because their topics are Inconsequential TO THE MAX ... Seriously .. Anyway , i'm heading to bed before my eyes start to swell .. Love you guys !